Free Speech

Strange how commercial free speech is so protected in the case of telemarketers calling you at home and yet not protected at all when an employee states their mind about a third party.

Reminds me of when Zane's weblog was "discovered" by S1.

We seem to have a twisted view of freedom in this country that considers corporations and the employer/employee relationship off limits for the constitution. Very strange.

The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.
posted by Arley at 8:28 PM

Liberals

When liberal magazines start publishing articles in support of torture and empire, and Chomsky calls the US the greatest country in the world, I know the world's in trouble.

You bloggers might think I'm a raving right-wind religious fanactic, but you've got me all wrong. I don't want to kill people or put them in stocks or under tribute. I don't have any hope in this world, but in the next. Until Jesus returns, it's all screwed up and your or my little efforts aren't going to change the big picture. So you may as well be a pacifist and try to save as many as you can before we all go under, that's my position.
posted by Arley at 5:14 PM

Headlines

This just in! Rich man makes headlines giving away 0.37% of his $46 billion net worth to fight disease. Or to put it in layman's terms, that is, $250 average-net-worth-adjusted dollars. There was much rejoicing.

In local news, an anonymous middle-class doner gave 8.5% of his $71,700 net worth to a charitable cause. It would take 28,000 people's giving to reach this level, or roughly the population of Kingsville, Texas.

The moral of the story: rich people love to give a tiny bit of money and get headlines news praising them for it. But the true benefit comes from the countless unnamed doners across the country (but especially in Minnesota).

While all the people were listening, Jesus said to his disciples, "Beware of the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and love to be greeted in the marketplaces and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. They devour widows' houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. Such men will be punished most severely."

As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. "I tell you the truth," he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."

- Luke 20:45-21:4

posted by Arley at 9:20 AM

Genius

Just for the record, I am not a genius. I am also generally lacking in financial success. However, that doesn't stop me from posting by blog, because, well:

I'M GOOD ENOUGH, I'M SMART ENOUGH, AND GOSH DARN IT, PEOPLE LIKE ME!

- Al Franken

posted by Arley at 1:47 PM

Style

There is a component of style that is inseperable from the individual persona, that cannot be edited or Strunk and White-d away. It is futile to attempt to remove this component; one should instead accept and develop it. One's worst enemy can in due time become the closest ally.

Some write as if they were just selected from a New Yorker "up and coming writers" competition. They may detest the fact but still it remains. There is nothing wrong with high-fidelity writing, the drawn out reflections on every note, the agonizing decision of the producer attuned to the slightest deviation from perfection. The talents of such an individual is what makes U2 sound so much better than they are, what turns an ordinary bedroom into Bartok's playground, and what spices up morning web-browsing pedantics into a refreshing cup of morning brew.
posted by Arley at 9:56 AM

Larva

You wanna be great, huh? Then you need to be a larva, or, as TNHD would put it, you need to go through larval stage.

There are programmers I often see that have potential, they could be really good, but they don't know it. They've never been tried, tested to their limits and then some. They are stuck in perpetual naivety. Without going through a time of total focus and abandonment a programmer can't know his true abilities.

I postulate this larval stage is necessary for any greatness, be it craft, art, or other. Without an intense period of hacking runs you'll never know what you're capable of. Van Gogh would wander into the fields and forget himself for days upon a canvas. The Beatles had their Hamburg years of doing little else than performing (6+ hours a day). Michelangelo had his agony and ectasy in the Sistene Chapel. Even Jesus had his forty days and nights in the wilderness.

So all you part-time wannabee artists listen up. If you're truly serious about your craft, if you aspire for greatness, then you've got to focus on it. Quit your job. Do nothing else but your art for a few months, if not longer. Eating, sleeping, and friendship should only exist in as much as they are necessary for advancement of your creative work, and no further. True friends will understand if they are shunned for a while so you can concentrate.

One of two things will happen. On the one hand it's possible you'll fail and realize that you are not really an artist, that you don't have what it takes to make it, either because you don't have the talent, are missing the drive, or just don't want to be what it is you thought you did. Your time of abandon was still worth it, because now you know who you really are in relation to your art.

On the other hand it's possible you'll realize that you are, in fact, an artist, or hacker, or whatever. This isn't an external realization: it's not about winning a competition or having others praise your work or winning a battle of the bands. It's internal: knowing that you indeed are capable of the things you previously only dreamed of. You will have acquired confidence of your abilities and glimpsed what you can accomplish.

Assuming you have found your art, you will have to make a decision of whether to pursue. In all honesty, in my own opinion I myself could be a great hacker if I put myself to it. But in the final analysis I don't value the art above life. I'd rather be a middle-class code monkey and take Rachel to the zoo. At least I know that this is what I want, and I know what I have left behind. It is terrible to not know, to be stuck in a purgatory between artistic heaven and employable hell simply because you're afraid what will happen if you pursue art above all else.
posted by Arley at 10:57 AM

Balls

This guy has balls.
posted by Arley at 9:27 PM

Quality

Why is it that as we pursue these Arab fugitives their recording quality gets poorer and poorer? At first, there's full-color voice-synced video conversations with different scenes and out-takes of Der Führer shooting his AK in the air. This degenerates to video monologues behind false backgrounds. Then it turns to hastily made videos behind tarps, in caves or bunkers with voiceovers. Finally we move to audio-only, of declining quality with each successive tape. It is enough to bring tears to the eyes of those who still search Ebay for Dave Brubeck LPs.

It is at a time like this that the world needs Carl, a man of great capability, exquisite taste, and most important to the task at hand, high fidelity. The Red Cross needs a high-fidelity branch to help fugitive leaders develop audio and video to the recording standards demanded by the modern media. Can you imagine being a fugitive leader trying to rally your troops without the slightest idea of what California Audio Labs can do for you cause? The very idea is shocking, as shocking as the reaction fugitives will get from their followers when we finally move to HDTV and they're still recording on VHS. You can't be the leader of the un-free world and at the same time the laughing stock of the recording industry.

As we all know from the recent RIAA supenas, he who controls the recording industry controls the universe.

Carl, it's time to rise to the occasion.

Recorders of High Fidelity, Unite!
posted by Arley at 9:52 AM

Japan

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?

$50 says it will be the next internet craze ala dancing baby and all your base are belong to us.
posted by Arley at 1:38 PM

Excellence in Broadcasting

What followed was a great example of why Gordon is a great guy to be in a band with. I had to walk away from the argument between the band and booker because I have a very short fuse in confrontations. I get angry at any injustice or even perceived injustice and then I say a bunch of nasty things and storm away. I will never be an ambassador. But Gordon is a master diplomat. He eventually convinced the aforementioned booker not only to have a couple of employees hook up a PA from 1932 but also to go to a friends house to pick up microphones. Dag.

- Joe's Diary

Way to go Gordon!
posted by Arley at 1:52 PM

The Left

Writes Zane:

The left, which it's [sic] greater emphasis on persuasion rather than coercion will often keep it's message more to the facts and inherently disdains the propoganda machine.

Yes, persuasion rather than coercion is just what comes to mind when I think of Joseph Stalin, Mao Tse-Dong, Fidel Castro, Ho Chi Minh and other leading Leftist figures. Even American Leftists such as FDR certainly didn't mind resorting to force when ruling by decree to steal gold and destroy livestock.
posted by Arley at 1:38 PM

Web Design

I'm not much of a web designer myself, but I can tell you what I like: sparse and informative. This makes it easy to find interesting diversions on unusual sites. Cote and Josh should take note.
posted by Arley at 4:04 PM

Sagan

While Carl Sagan showed us, through his planetary science and popularizing, the contributions logic and reasoning can make to life, he also showed us its limitations. For as anyone knows who has studied formal logic, all sound reasoning is fundamentally underpinned by axioms whose truth value (or falsehood) must be assumed. In the fundamental sciences axiomatic assumptions are kept to a minimum, phenomena are investigated, hypotheses are tested and proven or disproven. In the higher-level sciences, and indeed outside of science, such an approach is not so easily applied, and in fact its application can be incomplete at best and dangerous at worst.

A human life is not a repeatable experiment. Nor can pure logic answers its riddles. Sagan's life was filled with success where logic and love of science prevaled: in the sciences and in bringing them to the masses. His life was filled with failures where logic cannot provide answers: in loving a wife, caring for children, and following God.

As much as Sagan is an example to us that we should love our work and the wonder of the world around us, he is also a warning to us lest we cling to the created things and leave our Creator.
posted by Arley at 11:54 AM

Stability

Ed says:

I'll keep it short. All three of the industries you mentioned have undergone significant changes in the last 30 years so that they no longer resemble the industries that have generated the historical returns that make them so appealing to an investor.

When I mentioned banking, insurance, and utilities, note that I limited it to certain subsets of these industries which have undergone little change historically.

When I say banking I mean commercial and retail deposit banking. I exclude more nascent and volatile forms such as investment banking, financial services, and hosted banking data centers (anyone recall that? ;-). Freddie Mac is a pefect example of a non-traditional bank: it doesn't have depositors, it doesn't fall under the restrictive Federal Reserve banking regulations (especially reserve requirements), and if anything it resembles the French Credit Mobilier which raised funds primarily through highly leveraged bond issues, which eventually caused great accounting problems and ultimate failure (sound familiar?). Traditional banking goes back to at least 15th century Italy and even farther if we count the moneychangers of Sumer circa 3000 B.C. Someone experienced in banking from Sumer could become a loan officer in your average bank and (after learning English and Federal regulations) would feel quite at home.

When I say insurance I mean the traditional forms, life and property insurance and annuities. I'm excluding more exotic and nascent varieties such as event insurance, super-cat, and reinsurance, risky investments which Berkshire is best known for and other reinsurance companies are worst known for. The annuity can be found in 17th century Switzerland, among other places, although it was more commonly written by government entities rather than private companies. By the 18th century, however, along with the advances in statistics and the birth of the actuarial field, true life and property insurance become pretty much what it is today. Once you have the property and casualty (mortality) tables that's all there is to it.

When I say utilities I mean local distribution and transporation utilities, which constitute the vast majority of outstanding stock of the industry. I'm excluding companies such as Enron and Dynegy which were primarily focused on energy trading and unregulated power generation, which have nothing to do with utilities per se. Companies who were focused on core utility business, such as Southern Co. and Entergy, were unaffected by the recent shenanigans. Water utilties have been around since the birth of civilization, and gas and electric utilties as corporations were well established by the end of the 19th century. From my own experience working at a utility, I can testify there's pretty much nothing to it: just keep the gas flowing and the money just comes in.

Don't be fooled by the myth of constant change. Some things are changing rapidly, but not everything is. Traditional industries such as banking, insurance, and utilities still hold promise in giving stability to a portfolio.
posted by Arley at 11:38 AM

The Swiss

I've lately been reading a book entitled Swiss Banking: An Analytical History (by Hans Bauer), and I ran across this paragraph:

It will be obvious to readers with a reasonable familiarity with the history of Europe during and after the war that Switzerland and the Swiss people endured very much less in terms of hardship than the painful privation and suffering in the rest of the continent. Of that there is not the slightest doubt. Indeed, we might add that the contribution of Switzerland and the Swiss Red Cross during those tragic years did much toward ameliorating to some degree the horrors which Europe inflicted upon itself. Even though a paragraph saluting these people for their efforts is quite out of context in a work of this kind, we nevertheless do include it as a reminder to readers that we are always conscious of the fact that life does not necessarily consist of banks, bankers, and finance alone.

If I could say any country comes closest in its foreign policy to the Christian ideal, it would be Switzerland. The twin pillars of their policy are compassion and neutrality. They certainly spend more effort saving lives than taking them. It would behoove us to learn from their example.

Any by the way Ed, I can sum up the lesson of Swiss banking in one short sentence: go heavy on the cash, light on the debt.
posted by Arley at 5:20 PM

Maybe Too Impressive

MLPJC - 177TS007 

      TO:     WILLARD, BENJAMIN L., Cpt. USA 
                0-1305301 
                U.S. Armed Forces Intelligence Hq.
                Nha Trang

      SUBJECT:  Special Warfare Information, CLARK, WESLEY K., Gen., European Command

      1966      Graduates West Point; first in Class; third-generation appointee. 
                Completes Basic Training, Armor Officer Advanced, Ranger, Airborne.

      66-68     Masters Degree, Oxford University, Economics, Politics,
                and Philosophy. Rhodes Scholar.

      69-70     Assigned, 1st Mechanized Infantry, U.S. Command, Saigon,
                Vietnam. Serves with Distinction.  Promoted Commander.

      1970      Wounded in action.  Received Purple Heart, Silver Star,
                honored for gallantry in action with marked distinction.


                           WILLARD (v.o.)

"At first, I thought they handed me the wrong dossier. I couldn't
believe they wanted this man dead. Third generation West
Point, top of his class. Vietnam, Airborne. About a thousand decorations. 
Etc, etc... I'd heard his voice on the tape and it really put a hook
in me. But I couldn't connect up that voice with this man. Like they
said he had an impressive career. Maybe too impressive... I mean
perfect. He was being groomed for one of the top slots of the 
corporation. General, Chief of Staff, anything... In 1975 he returned
from a tour of advisory command in Vietnam and things started to
slip. The report to the Joint Chiefs of Staff and the President
was restricted. Seems they didn't dig what he had to tell them."

                              ...

"The more I read and began to understand, the more I admired him."

                              ...

"No wonder Clark put a weed up command's ass. 
The war was being run by a bunch of four-star clowns 
who were going to end up giving the whole circus away."

                        PHOTOJOURNALIST

"Hey, man, you don't talk to Clark. You listen to him. The
man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet-warrior in the classic
sense. I mean sometimes he'll, uh, well, you'll say hello to
him, right? And he'll just walk right by you, and he won't even
notice you. And suddenly he'll grab you, and he'll throw you in
a corner, and he'll say do you know that if is the middle
word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are
losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when
all men doubt you -- I mean I'm no, I can't -- I'm a little man, I'm a little 
man, he's, he's a great man. I should have been a pair of ragged claws
scuttling across floors of silent seas -- I mean --"

                              ...

In the morning Willard is carried again to meet Clark.
Clark sits in the talkshow and reads T.S. Eliot's poem "The Hollow Men" :

                             CLARK

"We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar
Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;"

posted by Arley at 9:52 AM

A Poem

A poem, a good one, I heard on NPR today. Usually the Writer's Almanac is snotty and pretentious but today it was raw and viscereal. So here it is, written before 9/11/01 I might add:

TO A TERRORIST

For the historical ache, the ache passed down
which finds its circumstance and becomes
the present ache, I offer this poem

without hope, knowing there's nothing,
not even revenge, which alleviates
a life like yours. I offer it as one

might offer his father's ashes
to the wind, a gesture
when there's nothing else to do.

Still, I must say to you:
I hate your good reasons.
I hate the hatefullness that makes you fall

in love with death, your own included.
Perhaps you're hating me now,
I who own my own house

and live in a country so muscular,
so smug, it thinks its terror is meant
only to mean well, and to protect.

Christ turned his singular cheek,
one man's holiness another's absurdity.
Like you, the rest of us obey the sting,

the surge. I'm just speaking out loud
to cancel my silence. Consider it an old impulse,
doomed to become mere words.

The first poet probably spoke to thunder
and, for a while, believed
thunder had an ear and a choice.

                        Stephen Dunn


posted by Arley at 9:20 AM

Iran

1.	Attack or not(Attack)	(Binary Tautology)
2.	Overthrow or not(Overthrow)	(Binary Tautology)
3.	Attack iff Overthrow	(Axiom)
4.	(Attack and Overthrow) or [not(Attack) and not(Overthrow)]	(Definition of iff, 1, 2, 3)
5.	not(Attack)	(Assumption)
6.	not(Attack) or not(Overthrow)	(Disjunctive Tautology, 5)
7.	not(Attack and Overthrow)	(Demorgan's Law, 6)
8.	[not(Attack) and not(Overthrow)]	(Definition of or, 4, 7)
9.	not(Overthrow)	(Definition of and, 8)

So given that we overthrow if and only if we attack, and we're not attacked, then we don't overthrow. We seem to be in agreement here. As I have always believed, sound argument between two rational individuals is always reduced to either total agreement or a difference of axioms.
posted by Arley at 7:33 PM

Advice to Latin American Travelers

While eating lunch today with an old BMC colleague I informed him of Charles' latest expedition into the jungle. The friend, being from Mexico and having driven down south before, proffered some advice for me to grant young Charles the Bold.

• Stay on the Highway - keep to the Pan-American Highway route and you should be fine. Veer off the beaten path and you might wind up kidnapped or killed.
• Watch your Motorcycle - the hardest task on the journey is not getting your bike stolen. Keep it in sight at all times.
• Filter the Gas - the gasoline south of Mexico has varying degrees of quality. Carry a gas filter with you and always filter when refueling.
• Keep your Eyes on the Road - at times you may find yourself distracted by the scenery. Stay focused and don't loose sight of the big picture.

posted by Arley at 4:01 PM

Butlerian Jihad

Ed writes about a rather lengthly article by Bill Joy. It behooves me to give my opinion; I deserve it after having truged my way through the whole article.

In my estimation, only religion is strong enough to pull man from the desire for power and wealth which, when combined with technology, lead to the destruction of humanity. The Amish are still the best example of success in the endeavour of life, and peaceful at that. Not all fundamentalists are suicide bombers or those seeking the imminent destruction of the same.

"Why do you test for humans?" he asked.
"To set you free."
"Free?"
"Once men turned their thinking over to machines in hope that this would set them free. But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them."
"Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a man's mind," Paul quoted.
"Right out of the Butlerian Jihad and the Orange Catholic Bible," she said.

- Dune

posted by Arley at 11:27 AM

Public Corporations

The only trades which it seems possible for a joint stock company to carry on successfully, without an exclusive privilege, are those of which all the operations are capable of being reduced to what is called a routine, or to such a uniformity of method as admits of little or no variation. Of this kind is, first, the banking trade; secondly, the trade of insurance from fire, and from sea risk and capture in time of war; thirdly, the trade of making and maintaining a navigable cut or canal; and, fourthly, the similar trade of bringing water for the supply of a great city. - Adam Smith, The Wealth of Nations

This pretty much sums up, and gives justification to, my previous investigations into investing. To sum it up: Banking, Insurance, and Utilities. These are the three most consitently stable and profitable companies, seeing how what they do is so routine and simple. To be more specific, I would say retail/commercial banking (as opposed to investment banking or financial services), primary low-risk insurance (as opposed to event insurance, mortgage/bond insurance, or reinsurance), and local distribution water/energy utilities (as opposed to energy trading, broadband, telecom or somesuch). You can find a good number of such companies with strong credit ratings, consistent earnings, and hefty dividends; furthermore, you can find them all across the globe. They should be the foundation of any stock portfolio.

You can test the waters with biotech and all that, but don't leave the basics behind.
posted by Arley at 2:54 PM

Hacking

A nice little ditty from the news. I think Sam could have done much better though, like the time he brought down the network... ;-)
posted by Arley at 9:46 AM

Iran Again

I dug around and found a rather factual account (from the Library of Congress Country Studies) that pretty much accords with what I've read before about this portion of Persian history. Hopefully this will settle a few things.

First off I hope it establishes my point that BP (formerly Anglo-Iranian) didn't get a good deal out of the whole thing. In fact, it pretty much put them out of the running as a major player in the world oil industry until the Fourty Field was found off of England in the North Sea several decades later. The Iranians had physical control (meaning military) and there wasn't much BP could do, especially when mobs started killing their engineers (which is the real reason they pulled out when they did; pulling out basically meant they lost a huge amount of money).

Second it shows that Mossadeq, although popular, didn't mind resorting to undemocratic acts when his popularity began to wane. He got what he wanted through either democratic or undemocratic means: democratic when the Majlis agreed with him, if they didn't he just disolved the body and ruled by decree. In that sense he was little different from the Shah (who himself was widely popular when he first came back to Iran from exile).

Third it makes it clear that the U.S. position agaist Mossadeq and his Tudeh Party ties was primarily about Soviet influence, not oil. Under the "domino theory" prevalent at the time, if Iran fell to the communists then soon Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq, and eventually the entire Middle East would fall as well. Being in such a strategic position, directly adjoining the Soviet Union and the Persian Gulf, Iran was a key focus of the anti-domino efforts of Eisenhower administration. Although I'm almost certain Zane would differ, I have no problem supporting overthrow of a government that is a direct threat to America, whether it's elected or not. Whether Iran was in this case is a matter of debate, although we could probably agree that the Taliban was (sheltering Bin Laden).
posted by Arley at 9:27 PM

Surgical Strike

A pretty good example of a surgical strike. However, as is the case there is a tradeoff between military effectiveness and civilian safety. This time they got away.
posted by Arley at 9:00 PM

Efficiency and Profit

Some people seem to think it illegal or immoral to evaluate individual profitability:

"There is somewhere in almost every company a spreadsheet showing a cost-benefit analysis for every worker. It all comes down to a single lifetime number that is the difference between the expected earnings to the corporation that are made possible by the direct labor of that employee, and the total cost of that employee to the company in current wages and future benefits. Nobody admits the existence of this spreadsheet, which is probably illegal, but it is there." - wunderkammer

I (and perhaps Zane, in a rare moment of agreement) support such efforts to examine individual productivity. Giving more monetary value to the company than it gives you in wages is the heart of capitalism. If you're not earning the company money then both you have no reason to be at the company and, if this is true for all or most employees, the company has no reason to exist. If someone in India can do the same job for less, so be it, that's capitalism and free trade for you. Ultimately the society will be better off on average, on the whole. You the individual may or may not be. But it's pretty selfish, and feudalistically guild-like, to suggest otherwise.
posted by Arley at 8:50 PM

The Vatican

You're Vatican City!
You're pretty sure that you're infallible in all that you do or say, and it's hard to say whether you're right.  You have a lot of followers, most of whom will do whatever you say without question, or line up to see you ride around in your spiffy car.  Religious and reserved, you have some wisdom, but also a bit much contempt for everyone around you.  You're also fabulously wealthy, no matter what you say to the contrary.
Take the Country Quiz

posted by Arley at 5:44 PM

Iran

Sorry to intrude, but your picture of Iran is far from accurate. You're leaving out the other big guy of the era: the Soviet Union. The whole post-WWII policy in Iran was based upon the overall "free-world versus communism" policy. The British weren't really much of a factor after WWII, they had to play second fiddle to America in the actions including the coup. The Americans actually forced Britian to concede most of its major points in the oil deal (which was a bad one for BP) in order to score points with the Shah. It was really a US vs. Soviet proxy conflict. One way or the other the Iranians were going to get screwed. To pretend everything would have been rosy except for the Americans is to ignore reality. It certainly wasn't rosy before the coup, more like chaotic anarchy.

The Shah wasn't such a bad guy as far as Middle East despots go. He actually helped build a good deal of infrastructure in Iran. Mossadeq was a ruthless assasin, "elected" or not. I'd certainly prefer living under either of them than under the Ayatollahs, but then again, being a Christian I'd be especially targeted under Muslim rule.

Don't even get me started about nationalization. Once you start spouting about BP "raping" Iran it's clear you've been misinformed. BP was pretty much on the getting screwed side of that deal from the begining. Even from the 19th century the producing countries always had the upper hand, from Russia to Venuzuela, they certainly did the bulk of the raping, oil companies being the victim. Having physical control of the wells always gives you the advantage.

The basic problem in Iran, and really in the entire Middle East, was and is an inability to compromise. You can't have peace or any meaningful law and order without compromise. Democracy can't exist in these environments: the first action after winning a majority election is either to a) go massacre the minority b) abandon the constitution and institute religious rule or c) get deposed by a coup. Compromise is the key to peace.
posted by Arley at 3:22 PM

Mr. Wright

I saw The Siege about a year before 9-11. The reality was, of course, much more shocking, deadly, and ultimately dangerous than the screenplay. However, Mr. Wright seems to have a prescience about the future. If he writes a screenplay about terrorists nuking San Diego, Carl, you'd better consider moving.

P.S. Is it just me, or do you bloggers only notice when conservatives do silly things? If a liberal does silly things, it must be right. I don't disagree with the silliness, but I do note the selective reporting.
posted by Arley at 3:08 PM

My Very Own Onion Advertisment

Introducing "School" Razanne of the Al-Barbie clan! Comes with a removable hijab (only in front of husband Ken Al-Barbie, though), contact book to keep track of all your teachers, friends, and doctors (all-female, of course), and a backpack for school (this option not available in Taliban-ruled areas).

One of our more popular models, "Praying" Razanne, includes a Dome of the Rock (Al-Aqsa Martyr Brigade inspired) prayer rug, a short book entitled "Why Jews are Evil and Must be Erradicated" you can read to your children (Including a chapter on "Dispelling the Myth of the Holocaust"), and her limited-edition "Celebrate the Hidden Imam" shawl (not available in Sunni areas).

There's lot of fun things you can do with our latest model, "In and Out" Razanne: stay at home and try on Western clothes (not outside the play-house, though), let your cousin Joe Al-Barbie drive you around (make sure he accompanies you at all times, and for Allah's sake, don't drive yourself!) and go swimming in the Red Sea with a full-body-length bathing suit (keep those arms and legs covered!).

Now try our latest model, "Glorious Martyrdom" Razanne! She comes with a full set of accessories, including a minature Koran, AK-47 and a strap-on suicide belt! Enjoy her listing to Ayatolla Ken Al-Barbie's latest anti-Semitic sermon (Allah-Akhbar!), get together with your friends and hold a "Down with Great Satan America" rally (complete with Arabic banners!), and play "resist the Zionist invasion" in her very own scale-model of Jenin (look abba, I just shot a settler!).

The doll for the next generation!
posted by Arley at 2:29 PM

Koreans

Koreans seem to be more "physical" in their protests than most other people. They are quite creative in making all sorts of protest props, "kickin' it up a notch", and performing celebratory dances upon election of their Great Leader (who honestly supports democracy contrary to the viscious rumors of Imperialist American Scum). Stateside we have Jesse Venutra to quench our thirst for violence; in Korea they have labor unions. Quite exciting compared to the French who usually just block traffic and entertain visitors.

A coworker relates his experience (repeated related it in my own words):

"So here we were in Seoul on our business trip, taking some time off in the evening to unwind. We head down to the tourist-town shopping district and when we get there, we're like the only people there. It's like, where is everyone? So we're starting to think we've come to the wrong place, and things get errily silent, so we try to find a cab to get out of there.

"There are several cabs, but unfortunately they don't want anything to do with us. Is it because we're foreigners, we wonder? Then we see them all park next to eachother, blockading the street in front of us. Uh oh, we think, this can't be good.

"Then about a half mile down on the other side we see a large crowd start to form, some kind of primitive "flash mob" (although this was fifteen years ago), and they're quickly getting very organized into line and file. In a very short time, maybe two minutes, there must have been over ten thousand of them, and they start shouting slogans in unison at a deafening volume, marching towards us. We're like, we don't know Korean, we didn't do anything, and we don't know where this is going.

"Fortunately, they seem to be ignoring us. But they didn't go unnoticed by the cops, who now stream in with their patrol cars, water cannons, and urban assault vehicles. They pile out in full riot gear, shooting tear gas at the crowd and knocking them over with walls of water. We're stuck in the middle of this thing, our eyes burning, when things get even more tense.

"The crowd doesn't react to the cops very well. They respond to the tin soldiers by turning over their police cars and setting fire to their urban assault vehicles. By this point we're thinking we should run, but when surrounded by ten thousand people jam packed into the street there's not much you can do. We try to cover our mouths and eyes from the gas and smoke and try to stay away from the police tussling with the protestors.

"And then, something entirely unexpected happens. Everyone starts to run away, in all directions, quickly disappearing among side alleys and (we learned later) into private residences of the many local sympathizers. The police arrest a few in the front and within minutes everything is quiet again. Besides the carcass of overturned vehicles and burning tires you'd never know they were there. We feel pretty stupid, just standing there with our shirts over our eyes and mouth, waiting for the gas to disperse so we can get some fresh air.

"Shortly afterwards the shops re-open, they start clearing the vehicles and it's as if nothing happened. The whole incident must have taken less than half an hour. Some cops come up to us, and seeing that we are obviously foreigners offer a ride back to the hotel. We spend the rest of the night at a second-rate bar calming our nerves and swearning never to come back here again."

posted by Arley at 9:44 AM

Mammon

One soul asks, pray tell, what is mammon? I shall reply in bountiful words, most not my own.

First, the context:

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon." - Matthew 6:24

Now, a large number of definitions of mammon from different perspectives that should suffice to give the reader the intent of the passage:

• A Chaldee or Syriac word meaning "wealth" or "riches" (Luke 16:9-11); also, by personification, the god of riches (Matthew 6:24; Luke 16:9-11). (Easton's Bible Dictionary)

• Riches (Matthew 6:24; Luke 16:9) a word which often occurs in the Chaldee Terguma of Onkelos and later writers, and in the Syriac version, and which signifies "riches." It is used in St. Matthew as a personification of riches. (Smith's Bible Dictionary)

• Greek Mamonas: A common Aramaic word (mamon) for riches, used in Matthew 6:24 and in Luke 16:9,11,13. In these passages mammon merely means wealth, and is called "unrighteous," because the abuse of riches is more frequent than their right use. In Luke 16:13 there is doubtless personification, but there is no proof that there was in New Testament times a Syrian deity called Mammon. The application of the term in Matthew is apparent and requires no comment. In Lk, however, since the statement, "Make to yourselves friends out of the mammon of unrighteousness," follows as a comment on the parable of the Unjust Steward, there is danger of the inference that Jesus approved the dishonest conduct of the steward and advised His disciples to imitate his example. On the contrary, the statement is added more as a corrective against this inference than as an application. `Do not infer,' He says, that honesty in the use of money is a matter of indifference. He that is unfaithful in little is unfaithful in much. So if you are not wise in the use of earthly treasure how can you hope to be entrusted with heavenly treasure?' The commendation is in the matter of foresight, not in the method. The steward tried to serve two masters, his lord and his lord's creditors, but the thing could not be done, as the sequel shows. Neither can men serve both God and riches exalted as an object of slavish servitude. Wealth, Jesus teaches, does not really belong to men, but as stewards they may use wealth prudently unto their eternal advantage. Instead of serving God and mammon alike we may serve God by the use of wealth, and thus lay up treasures for ourselves in heaven. Again, the parable is not to be interpreted as teaching that the wrong of dishonest gain may be atoned for by charity. Jesus is not dealing with the question of reparation. The object is to point out how one may best use wealth, tainted or otherwise, with a view to the future. (International Standard Bible Encylopedia)

• The word "mammon" is a Syriac word, and signifies money, wealth, riches, substance, and everything that comes under the name of worldly goods. Jerom says, that riches, in the Syriac language, are called "mammon"; and so the word is often used in the above senses, in the Chaldee paraphrases {y}, and in the Talmudic writings; where {z} twnwmm ynyd, "pecuniary judgments," or causes relating to money affairs, in which were pecuniary mulcts, are opposed to twvpn ynyd, "judgment of souls," or causes relating to life and death. The account and interpretation Irenaeus {a} gives of the word, is very wide and foreign; who says, that "Mammon, according to the Jewish way of speaking, which the Samaritans used, is one that is greedy, and would have more than he ought; but, according to the Hebrew language, it is called adjectively Mam, and signifies one that is gluttonous; that is, who cannot refrain himself from gluttony." Whereas it is not an Hebrew word, nor an adjective, but a substantive, and signifies riches; which are opposed to God, being by some men loved, admired, trusted in, and worshipped, as if they were God; and which is incompatible with the service of the true God: for such persons, whose hearts go after their covetousness, and are set upon earthly riches, who give up themselves to them, are eagerly and anxiously pursuing after them, and place their confidence in them; whatever pretensions they may make to the service of God, as did the Scribes and Pharisees, who are particularly struck at by this expression, both here and elsewhere, they cannot truly and heartily serve the Lord. "Mammon" is the god they serve; which word may well be thought to answer to Pluto, the god of riches, among the Heathens. The Jews, in Christ's time, were notorious for the love of "mammon"; and they themselves own, that this was the cause of the destruction of the second temple: the character they give of those, who lived under the second temple, is this: "we know that they laboured in the law, and took care of the commandments, and of the tithes, and that their whole conversation was good; only that they Nwmmh ta Nybhwa, "loved the mammon," and hated one another without a cause {b}."

  {w} Praefat. Celi Jaker, fol. 3. 1. {x} Piske Tosephot Cetubot, art. 359. {y} Vid. Targum Onkelos & Jon. in Gen. xiii. 13. & in Jud. v. 19. & in Prov. iii. 9. & in Isa. xlv. 13. & passim. {z} Misn. Sanhed. c. 1. sect. 1. & c. 4. sect. 1. {a} Adv. Haeres. l. 3. c. 8. p. 249. {b} T. Hieros. Yoma, fol. 38. 3. (Gill's Commentary)

• The word "mamon"--better written with one m--is a foreign one, whose precise derivation cannot certainly be determined, though the most probable one gives it the sense of "what one trusts in." Here, there can be no doubt it is used for riches, considered as an idol master, or god of the heart. The service of this god and the true God together is here, with a kind of indignant curtness, pronounced impossible. But since the teaching of the preceding verses might seem to endanger our falling short of what is requisite for the present life, and so being left destitute, our Lord now comes to speak to that point. (JFB Commentary)

• The Chaldee word "Mammon" means money or riches. It is here personified as an idol. "Mammon" originally meant "trust," or confidence, and riches is the trust of worldly men. If God be not the object of supreme trust, something else will be, and it is most likely to be money. (Johnson Commentary)

• Mammon is a Syriac word, that signifies gain; so that whatever in this world is, or is accounted by us to be, gain (Phil. 3:7), is mammon. Whatever is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life, is mammon. To some their belly is their mammon, and they serve that (Phil. 3:19); to others their ease, their sleep, their sports and pastimes, are their mammon (Prov. 6:9); to others worldly riches (James 4:13); to others honours and preferments; the praise and applause of men was the Pharisees' mammon; in a word, self, the unity in which the world's trinity centres, sensual, secular self, is the mammon which cannot be served in conjunction with God; for if it be served, it is in competition with him and in contradiction to him. He does not say, We must not or we should not, but we cannot serve God and Mammon; we cannot love both (1 Jn. 2:15; Jam. 4:4); or hold to both, or hold by both in observance, obedience, attendance, trust, and dependence, for they are contrary the one to the other. God says, "My son, give me thy heart." Mammon says, "No, give it me." God says, "Be content with such things as ye have." Mammon says, "Grasp at all that ever thou canst. Rem, rem, quocunque modo rem—Money, money; by fair means or by foul, money." God says, "Defraud not, never lie, be honest and just in all thy dealings." Mammon says "Cheat thine own Father, if thou canst gain by it." God says, "Be charitable." Mammon says, "Hold thy own: this giving undoes us all." God says, "Be careful for nothing." Mammon says, "Be careful for every thing." God says, "Keep holy thy sabbath-day." Mammon says, "Make use of that day as well as any other for the world." Thus inconsistent are the commands of God and Mammon, so that we cannot serve both. Let us not then halt between God and Baal, but choose ye this day whom ye will serve, and abide by our choice. (Matthew Henry Commentary)

• Mammon was a common Chaldee word used in the East to express material riches. It is here personified as a kind of god of this world. These masters conflict here, for it is mammon's interest to be hoarded and loved, but it is God's interest that mammon be distributed to the needy and be lightly esteemed. God claims our supreme love and our undivided service. (MP Commentary)

• Riches, money; any thing loved or sought, without reference to God. Luke xvi, 13. (Wesley Commentary)

I hope this is sufficient.
posted by Arley at 12:29 PM